just another day
by merimaid
Summary: He's fast, she's weird, they're superheroes, and together they form a dysfunctional, odd, reluctant family that is a family nevertheless. (AU, post AoU)
1. language barriers

**A/N- this an AU in which pietro lives by the way bc he's my tiny son and deserves better**

* * *

 _"Look at the old man,"_ Pietro giggles softly in Sokovian and nudges Wanda, who shakes her head bemusedly but looks over anyways. In an armchair across the room, Clint is staring at his phone with a smile on his face. A burst of wind and a blue blur that whooshes past him a few seconds later comes back to sit on the couch by Wanda, who is pretending to be absorbed in the book she's holding.

 _"He's looking at pet videos!"_ the older twin mumbles gleefully. _"What a tough guy. You know, the other day I nearly made him cry? Just by dropping a plate near him. It triggered his mother hen instinct. He's become a family man."_

Wanda can't help but laugh at that.

 _"The old man might have to retire to become a full fledged housewife,"_ Pietro continues viciously.

 _"Pietro, you shouldn't,"_ Wanda replies in their language, chucking a little nevertheless.

 _"It's not like they understand us."_

Neither of the twins notice Natasha, tapping away at her tablet and curled up in the corner, slyly look up at them and smirk.

* * *

 _"Did you know the tin man dances to that band when he's alone? The one with the screaming and guitars?"_

The other Avengers hardly look up from the movie, having grown quite accustomed to Pietro and Wanda having side conversations in Sokovian.

Tony reaches across Pietro lazily for the popcorn and keeps watching the James Bond movie Natasha had chosen as the speedster continues. _"He was like Anna Pavlova. And he kept bopping his head and moving his arms, you should have seen him,"_ Pietro says, laughing nearly silently. _"He should compete in that show. The one with the dancing and the stars?"_

 _"Oh, Pietro,"_ Wanda sighs, rolling her eyes. A smile steals across her face as she imagines the billionaire dancing to AC/DC in his lab with lots of twirling and arm-flailing and headbanging. A few minutes go by before she speaks to her brother again. _"You should have videotaped him."_

They hear a slight laugh from Natasha, even though there isn't anything particularly funny happening onscreen.

* * *

 _"Stars and stripes won't let me look inside his sketchbook,"_ Pietro says at breakfast. Steve asks for the syrup and the younger Avenger hands him the bottle before continuing. _"I tried to steal it while he was in the shower but he locks the drawer he puts it in. Maybe all the pictures are of naked people or something,"_ he giggles wildly.

 _"Have you tried getting the key?"_

 _"I don't know where he puts it."_

 _"Why do you want it?"_

Pietro shoves a whole pancake in his mouth and says in a very muffled voice, _"Maybe he's like Picasso. Or maybe he's been writing plans and things in there and just telling us he's drawing. A soldier never relaxes, you know,"_ he says seriously, his eyes widening comically. _"I am curious. I want to know more."_

 _"The key's under the vase on his dresser, don't snoop while he's inside the building,"_ Natasha responds in perfect Sokovian.

Wanda drops her fork and Pietro chokes on the orange juice he's chugging as every single snarky, sarcastic thing about each Avenger he'd told Wanda in Sokovian rushes back to him.

The two Maximoffs stare at the agent with their mouths hanging open. Natasha nods at them curtly and neatly picks up her plate and rinses it.

"I didn't know you could speak Sokovian," Clint calls after her.

"I didn't know you watch cat videos in your freetime," Natasha responds "Pietro helped enlighten me."

There is a brief moment of stillness in which Clint turns white, then red, then purple, and Pietro makes a small noise of distress in the back of his throat. _"You are so dead, you little shit,"_ Clint screeches. Pietro yelps and shoots out of his seat with the archer yelling profanity and chasing after him.

"Wait," Sam says in sudden realization. "What else has he been telling Wanda in Sokovian then?"

The other Avengers at the table slowly turn to look at Wanda, who stares back, a deer in headlights.

"Pietro is _so_ dead," she mumbles.


	2. chicken soup

"Where's your brother?" Steve asks, his arms crossed. Wanda gently puts down the barbell she's been lifting with her mind as telekinesis practice and shrugs.

"Sleeping, probably. He is running around too much lately. It tires him."

"It's eleven, he should be awake," Steve notes, brows furrowing. "FRIDAY, where's Pietro?"

"In bed," the AI responds. "I believe his body temperature is higher than what it normally is. I suggest waking him up."

"Maybe he's sick?"

"He has a high metabolism, he rarely gets sick. But when he does, it is very bad," Wanda puts in, looking worried. "I will come with you."

By the time they get up to Pietro's room, he is gone. Wanda mutters a Sokovian curse. "FRIDAY?"

"Mr. Maximoff is in the Avengers' common room."

Wanda and Steve hurry down to the commons, where they find Pietro huddled in an armchair shivering. "Pietro!" Wanda runs to him. "Are you alright?"

"I think I have a cold," he says miserably, sounding very stuffy. "I was going to go and tell you but I just want to sleep."

Steve sighs. "Alright, let's get you to the infirmary."

Pietro nods and sneezes violently. An uncontrollable blue blur whooshes past them and when Steve and Wanda turn around they find Pietro on the ground looking annoyed and miserable. "Every time I sneeze this happens," he groans, and curls up on the ground.

Steve tries not to laugh and manages to cover up his chuckle with a cough. Wanda glares at him. "It's kind of funny, okay?" he mutters, fighting a smile. "Super speed triggered by sneezing." Wanda keeps staring, bemused. Steve stops smiling and goes over and scoops the shorter Avenger up like a sack of potatoes. "Alright, let's get you to the infirmary."

* * *

"Where's Roadrunner?" Tony asks. He watches Steve walk over from Sam and Wanda sparring. The blonde sighs and runs a hand through his hair.

"In the infirmary, sick. And very high-maintenance, I'll have you know."

Tony takes a sip of scotch and considers his options. He can pretend not to care and look like an asshole, or go and visit the kid and look like he's trying to help.

"I'll go visit him for a while. Call it generosity," he says. Steve blanches.

"Trust me, you're not going to want to go in there-"

"You can't scare me off, Capsicle," Tony scoffs. He strolls off.

"Give him orange juice and chicken soup," Steve calls after him. "Because he isn't listening to me," he adds on in a mutter.

In the infirmary, the only inhabited bed contains a pile of blankets. Tony frowns and moves closer. The blankets sneeze and move at superspeed to the other end of the bed and he jumps back.

An indiscernible mumble from under the bedclothes prompts Tony to cautiously lift up a corner. Pietro lies in a tangle of limbs, his cheeks unnaturally flushed and his hair sticking to his forehead.

"There's a slight possibility of you suffocating if you stay like that," Tony says, and tucks the blanket back from the boy's face a little awkwardly. "Stars 'n Stripes told me to give you something to eat. Soup sound good?"

"I'm not going to eat anything," Pietro grumbles, sniffling.

"You have fast metabolism, kid. You don't eat anything, you're gonna starve."

"I am already dying," Pietro whines. "I don't care."

"It's a cold, not cancer."

Pietro mutters something dark and burrows further within the blankets. "You can't force me, tin man."

"Okay, first of all, it's a gold-titanium alloy, not tin. And second of all-" He is interrupted by Pietro sneezing and shooting off the bed. "Sonuvabitch," Tony mutters, and cautiously makes his way to the heap on the floor, lifting up a corner of the blanket to assess the situation.

"Leave me here to _die,_ " Pietro moans, dragging out the vowels longer than necessary. Tony rolls his eyes.

"Please don't make me carry you to the bed."

There's no response. Tony sighs. "FRIDAY _,_ put me on the intercom. Steve, I needsome help in here."

 _"I'm not coming back in there,"_ Steve's voice comes from the intercom system. Tony sighs, exasperated already.

Thor bursts through the door suddenly, beaming. "I have heard you need a smidgen of help, Man of Iron!" he bellows cheerfully. "Allow me."

He tosses Pietro over his shoulder and dumps him on the bed. The younger Avenger complains and groans very loudly. Tony tries to back out of the room but Thor wraps an arm around his shoulder. "Come, friend. Let us provide this riddled young man with the proper nutrition."

Tony groans. "Can't we make Clint do it? Or Bruce...or Natasha? Or even the little witch?"

"Wanda is training. I would hate to interrupt the sharpening of such skills, no? Clint and Natasha, I believe, are on a mission in Cairo, and Bruce simply would not have the patience. Come with me, Man of Iron. We must care for the poor boy."

Tony groans again, louder, as Pietro yells something about his right to freedom in America in a very hoarse voice. It's going to be a long day, he can feel it.

* * *

 **A/N: pietro pls**

 **also a response to America Liberty's review of the first chapter- thank you ! i appreciate it :) i'm generally going to keep this pretty fluffy and humorous but there might be some conflict later on.**


End file.
